Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Crazy, but not that crazy.

I know, it's nuts of me, but every time somebody mentions MySp@ce (or FaceB@ok), I go back and look through mine.

When Mom called to tell me that Neighbor Phil had said something about HR Managers checking "social networking sites" for photos of potential new hires, I even thought about taking down that one picture that has a beer bottle in it; but since the bottle is obviously in front of Clay, and it's one of very few really good pictures of us together, I left it there. Yes, we were at a bar, and yes, there may have been some sort of a glass not visible in the picture; but we were there to see a friend's band play and not to show off any titties, so I left it up. Out of three hundred and some, that one's the only picture that has alcohol in it.

This morning, there was a story in the newspaper about this wanna-be "gangsta." The story mentioned his MySp@ce page and pointed out that lovely default picture where he's posing with a gun.

Not that I'm "passing judgement" or anything, this is just my opinion: that wanna-be gangsta's page kinda puts out a message that reads a little bit like "Hello, I'm a Dumbass!"

In the interest of avoiding the dumbass factor, and because I almost always do this, I opened up my page and clicked through trying to look at it like a stranger would look at it, to try and see what my page says about me.

I'm never sure, but I like to think mine says most of the things my readers here already know -- I'm somewhere around 30, I'm wordy and reasonably educated, and not particularly interested in discussing politics. I've lived in the same area all my life and I love my little hometown. I work with my family. I'm not a very serious TV watcher, but I'm a big fan of PBS. I love obscure music, I race on the dirt, I love cars. I'm a little on the "butch" side but I Love a man. I knit, I read, I write, I proofread compulsively. Melted cheese makes me smile.

Oh, and one more thing, I almost always have a camera with me and I take a lot of pictures.

I've uploaded 359 of 'em to my MySp@ce account.

Three hundred and fifty nine. Wow.

So, I went through those 359 files (yes, again) just to see what all shows up in my pictures. Two are gif, the rest are jpg. In spite of my OCD-ish tendencies, I didn't count how many times I myself appear, but I did count Clay 34 times. Race cars make 63 appearances. Twelve pictures feature trucks, 36 of the ambulance, fourteen of various hearses. Keep in mind, I'm counting picture-by-picture, a shot with fourteen hearses and one ambulance counts as one picture... All together, there are 118 with vehicles. Twenty eight pictures have cats in 'em, including my Hannah kitty and the late ShadowCat, friends' cats, irresistible LOLCats, and one adorable grey kitty who belonged to an old boyfriend. One American Eskimo dog, one Chihuahua with cheeseburgers entitled "Warm, Cheesy Feets," and one teeny-tiny English Bulldog Puppy. Three frogs; one tree, one Kermit, and one teeny-tiny one. Sixty three pictures have birds, including baby parakeets from egg to fuzzy feathers to full-grown. Eight shots of Mom, seven shots of Dad, two with my brothers and me, one with one brother and me, three of the late Dave. There is one picture of Santa Claus holding a gift and kneeling down in front of Baby Jesus.

You'll see me in racing t-shirts, band t-shirts, motorcycle shop t-shirts, a couple polo shirts, a couple button-up shirts, a bit of flannel, some polar fleece, a flag uniform, a band uniform, a prom dress, and looking over one bare shoulder that may or may not involve a sleeveless top. You'll see all manners of hair; with clips, with ponytails, with sunglasses, with chopsticks, with clips. You'll see me holding all sorts of things; bottled water, Diet Dew, Diet Dr. Pepper, a five-gallon fuel jug, several baby animals, a camera, a screwdriver, a curtain rod, a leather handbag, a roll of masking tape, a can of paint, knitting needles, yarn, race car trading cards, the fender of a Kawasaki ATV, a flag on a five-foot pole, a 350-turbo bellhousing, baby animals, steering wheels...

You'll see all sorts of sick humor picked and chosen from various corners of the internet, a '72 Pantera, a sunflower, My Mom with a beehive, and me in a hot pink fur Bunny suit with my arm around a guy who looks a lot like Willie Nelson.

Somewhere I have a digital shot of me with a bartender in Oklahoma City who looked a lot like Freddy Fender, I keep thinkin' if I run onto that again I'll upload it too.

See?

I'm crazy-fun, not crazy-shooting-spree.

Wanna be my friend? http://www.myspace.com/twentycarlo

More later... _\,,/

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