So, this afternoon, I'm standin' by the fireplace when My Mom walks up behind me and says "Do you wear thongs?"
I owned one pair of thong undies in college. I only wore 'em one day and they bugged me so bad I ditched 'em at lunchtime and went back to class with nothin' but jeans. The fact that I got rid of 'em by tossing them over a cable that ran between the floor joists in boyfriend-at-the-time's bedroom (which was in his mother's basement) is neither here nor there.
Mom asked if I wear thongs.
A quick flip of the mental rolodex shows a few places this question is likely to lead; the moral connotations of my underwear, the size of my ass, or something do do with my feet.
I know how these things usually go, and like any smart game show contestant, I picked the safest category. "I'll take footwear for a hundred, Alex!"
So I said "No, not unless I'm just steppin' into 'em to dash out to the car or something."
It was an honest answer. I've never been a fan of thongs or flip-flops, in the footwear or underwear departments. I keep a few pairs of the footwear variety around just in case I need to step into 'em real quick instead of putting real shoes on, but much like sweats or pajama pants, I pretty much refuse to wear 'em out in public. I'll wear 'em if I'm just dashing out to be out in the yard for a while, or if I'm going to the drive-thru and guaranteed to not have to get out of my car, but that's it. Of the footwear variety, I have three pairs; plain blue, orange with loofah-ish soles, and a pair with Tasmanian Devils on surfboards on 'em. It's not that I'm a Tasmanian Devil fan, I was just trying to find some that fit my odd feet -- but none of 'em do. Of the underwear variety, I have none, unless that pair from the basement is stuck in a box somewhere with all the stuff that he brought back after the break-up. I may have some chance of finding "flip flops" to fit my feet someday; but I seriously doubt I'll ever convince my ass to deal with "thongs."
Straight-faced, Mom's reply was "You'd run out to the car in your underwear?"
It's always about my ass.
More later... _\,,/