Thursday, July 30, 2009

Knight in shining whatever.

I woke up this morning with an incredible idea for a fascinating post, but it seems like the longer I'm awake, the dumber it seems. Either that, or it was like a dream and the major details that made it so fascinating have just slipped away.

I left work today wishing I was quicker at thinkin' on my feet and wondering why the best responses always come to mind well after it's too late to say them out loud.

Is it sad that I sat down in the living room with the laptop and got completely distracted by a re-run of "Knight Rider?"

I was so angry when I left work, but...

It's the first-ever-very-first episode.

I cannot believe anybody would talk to me like that, and I really wish I'd had a more interesting reply, and I really want to bitch about it, but I'm having a hard time focusing on it now...

And I can't believe I'm letting "teh internets" read about how I'm completely distracted by "Knight Rider" on RTV.

I was crazy about this show when it was new -- and I was six or seven years old. I was an obsessive kid (gee, like y'all didn't figure that out), I had the talking car with the David Hasselhoff action figure, and I even had Knight Rider jammies.

Now I'm 32 and completely distracted for a whole different reason. I have no idea why, but even though I thought "Baywatch" sucked, even though I snickered and giggled every time Norm McDonald joked about how "Germans love David Hasselhoff," even though I busted up laughin' when Spongebob Squarepants "Rode the Hoff," I get sucked in every time and I always sit down and watch. Even though I've talked to other people my own age who remember it being really cool way back in the day, and we've all said the same thing about how freakishly corny it seems now, but this show is like a time machine. It's a corny, hokey, goofy time machine that takes me right back to 1982 where The 'Hoff is long, tall and handsome; virile, young and healthy with a full head of soft, silky, curly hair and shocking blue eyes that are so beautiful, it doesn't matter how tacky a pastel-colored Members Only jacket looks when paired with dark jeans and a way-too-shiny, way-too-big belt buckle.

He's hot. There, I said it. I even had a very vivid hot dream about him a couple weeks ago. Yeah, hi there, internets, go ahead and make fun of me now.

I can't help but think about that song off that "Southpark" CD; "I'm not talkin' about Meridith Baxter Birney today, nooo, I'm talkin' about Meridith Baxter Birney who was on TV ten years ago..."

"I'm not talkin' about David Hasselhoff today, nooo, I'm talkin' about David Hasselhoff that was on TV twenty-five years ago..."

Oh man, twenty-five years ago. No, wait, twenty-seven? See there? I'm too distracted for math!

I'm okay for small-number math though -- Clayton and I had our first date four years ago tonight; Late Models on the high banks at Salina, and a lovely late night sittin' on the tailgate 'til I saw the moon way up over the top of the house. When I finally made it inside, the clock on the stove said Three Fifty-One just like a Ford small block.

Clay's blue eyes can make me feel things The 'Hoff wouldn't know anything about...

Happy Fourth First-Date-Anniversary, Baby!

More later... _\,,/

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Blogger kathcom said...

You're right. The Hoff was hot. Hell, he's even a little hot now, when he's not having his daughter videotape him drunk and drooling all over a cheeseburger.

Happy anniversary to you. I've got my own Tulsa boy here with me in NYC. Tomorrow will be 21 years since our first date and 14 years since our wedding day. Yup, we got married on the seventh anniversary of our first date. Altogether now: awwwww. But it works for us. To hell with the Hoff.

4:48 PM  

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