Critter Immortality?

With the magic of the new high-speed connection (I know, I know, we're the last people to get it, just like the VCR, the Car CD Player, and the DVD Player), I've been checkin' out a few videos just because it's simply stunning to see 'em download faster than they play.

On a certain humor site, I found a link to this news piece about a huge dead whale that washed ashore in Washington. The voice-over finishes up the piece with "...to try and figure out why this wonder of the world died and washed ashore..."

Do the news people really just keep talking just to be talking?

Why did it die? Because nothing lives forever.

Why did it wash ashore? Because it's dead, and dead critters don't move on their own.

Did they really have a hard time figuring that out?

Does somebody need to be sure & tell 'em that it's not a smart idea to try & eat that?

Just figured I'd better make sure...