Thursday, August 14, 2008

20.762068

The last few days have been rough as hell, I guess it started about a week ago, got worse on Monday and just stayed bad 'til last night. There have been times I've had that feeling that "It's me," like I'm just taking things wrong, mountains from molehills, whatever; other times, it feels like I'm stuck in the middle of a shitty situation that's not my fault.

There for a while, I wondered if I really was staying away from writing because I didn't want it to be way too many posts in a row that were just bitch-bitch-bitch.

Monday, and possibly before, I really felt like it was from me, in me, and all mine, and I could feel myself getting irritated about things that really shouldn't have that much of an effect on me. Tuesday (and yesterday) there was that damn Jeep wheel that we'd ordered a week before that hadn't showed up yet -- I got my ass chewed for "dropping the ball" on that one, 'cause ya know, I'm workin' that damn yard in South Texas that didn't see the order and never shipped the wheel. Oh, yeah, that was totally my fault, seeing as how we pay to use a computer system so that I don't have to drive to South Texas and stand there in somebody's face saying "JeepWheelJeepWheelJeepWheel" until they finally notice me and go pull a Jeep wheel off of a shelf. Yeah, totally my fault that that guy didn't see his computer screen.

Yesterday I'd pretty much decided I wasn't going to Tulsa because there was no way my attitude was anywhere near the right place for it, but I didn't want to go home either. I didn't say a word about it, but I had planned to go to Owasso (for good gas), grab something to eat, and then just go sit in the park and knit 'til I felt like going home. My Mom apparently noticed the mood I'd been in and called me about 4:45. Due to Mom's marketing skills, I went home for spaghetti and fried okra with the folks; amazingly enough, some credit was taken for the pissy-mood-situation, and lemme tell ya, that's rare.

After dinner, I alternated between knitting and napping, and then decided I go on out and put gas in my car instead of worrying about there not being any places to get any gas between home and work. In the interest of "saving gas" to be sure I didn't run out before I could get there, I turned off the compressor and rolled down the windows, and it was nice. I'll be honest, I'm usually not a big fan of rollin' the windows down -- if I can't take the whole top off, I'd rather just use the AC. The Mark 8 isn't so bad with the windows down, I don't feel like I'm gettin' blown to death and fixin' to lose both contact lenses, but it seems to cool itself out alright -- of course, we're talkin' about eighty degrees here, not a hundred and thirteen like it was a couple weeks ago.

The Big Car got 20.762068 miles per gallon on that tank of gas that I bought last week in Owasso, where they have the banner that says "100% Real Gas, No Ethanol," and I'd say that's pretty good for somethin' that big, that heavy, and that V-8 Powered.

I drove back home as the sun was setting, and I left the compressor off and the windows down just 'cause the evening air felt so good. I have no idea if it's because I managed to let go of something, or because something finally let go of me, but I felt like a fog had lifted last night, I felt much better.

This morning when I got to work, I found that the second yard had also backed out on me on that damn Jeep Wheel. I had to order it a third time from a third yard and pay fifteen dollars more for it this time, but it'll be alright 'cause nobody's bitchin' at me about it anymore.

Thankfulness? Check.

Like the song says, "Feels so good, feelin' good again."

More later... _\,,/

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