Wednesday, August 30, 2006

If We Couldn't Laugh...

I got an e-mail from That Ex's Mom... No, not because she reads the site, but because I e-mailed her Monday Morning to make sure I hadn't stepped on any toes. They're good people, they really are -- I hate it that they got a bad draw on the ol' genetic lottery and ended up with a jerk like him. Hopefully his Indian Name is only a hotel thing and not an at-home thing. Heh. Seriously though, they understood why I didn't say hello Saturday night -- they actually got to see some of that hostility first-hand. His Mom's awesome, I'm glad we're still friendly, and I swear it ain't just 'cause I know it would totally p!ss him off... She helped me out a lot when I was doin' the News, taught me quite a bit about the whole deal and saved me from a lot of hassle several times. His dad also showed me how to make the best, very best french fries I've ever seen come out of a skillet.

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Some azs has been calling and calling wantin' middle-brother on the phone... Several times yesterday, and several more today. Now, middle-bro runs deliveries, works on The Twenty, and also finds time to spend a lot of time in the can (uh, I've already griped about that); so when there's something that needs to be done out back, he's not always real easily available for the phone. This guy just keeps calling, will not leave a message, will not talk to anybody else. I'm thinkin' that if he wants parts, he'll eventually give in and talk to one of the rest of us, but that didn't happen. Finally, late in the afternoon today while middle-bro was in the can and I was waitin' in line for it, the azs called again. I figure since he's been trying for soooooo long, maybe that's important enough to cut a camping trip short to come to the phone. When he came out and picked the phone up, it turned out to be a Fah-Q call from the "Defendant" he'd testified against in a Worker's Comp Case. Now, isn't that just blessed? All that hassle, all those phone calls I had to answer when I could've been doing other things; just so he could say something nasty about somebody who saw him schleppin' parts across a parkin' lot while he was collectin' the work-comp cash and supposedly "injured." Nice, huh? I'll bet he's never gone to that many phone calls worth of trouble tryin' to say "Thank You" for anything... I still think it's kinda funny -- tried to screw the system and got caught, awwwwww.

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Oh the topic of Fah-Q's, I had a little fun on CraigsList today -- look for me in Rants & Raves. Heh heh...

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And on the topic of "caught," I also had a little fun at lunch today. When I went to the nifty little hometown burger joint (The Pirate Pattie, if you're Googling for a good place to eat in Sperry, try that Shrimp Basket, it's divine), I pulled into the drive-up line behind a fairly-new white Superduty. I'm not one to go gettin' impatient in their drive-up line, since I'm in my car in the cool air with no phones ringin' and all I'm gonna do is go back to the shop and eat lunch at my desk anyway, I figure I'd about as well sit back and enjoy the break.

So, I'm sittin' there enjoyin' my little break, and I notice a familiar face in the mirror of the Superduty... It's "That Kid," who's been a well-known fixture in this town since he's had a driver's license. Yeah, yeah, the salvage biz has made some cash off "That Kid," 'cause he's used up some parts -- it's just that, well, sometimes these little small-town hood wanna-be's just get on people's nerves. I can see "That Kid" in the mirror, smokin' a cigarette and hangin' his arm out the window in a cloud of smoke. Suddenly, another kid appears out the window on the same side (ah, crew-cab Superduty), and he's grabbin' letters off the menu-sign on the side of the building.

Now, I'll be honest, I was once fourteen or so, I had a bit of a klepto-ish-thing goin' on for a while -- but my mischief wasn't ever out in the friggin' open, not at lunch time, not in the broad daylight with the general public sittin' in another car less than ten feet away watching what I did! I was young and mischievious and crazy and hilarious only after I was sure there was nobody to see me and there were no security cameras nearby; I hope I'm not turning into a grumpy ol' lady here, but gawdamn, out in the broad daylight?? Come on!!!

I got out my phone and thought about calling to tell 'em what I had seen, but the gripey ol' lady idea kinda stopped me.

But then he popped out there again. I was convinced I'd mention it when I got up to the window, and then I thought about it a little more... He was stretched way out there, maybe if I startled him, he'd fall out of the truck. Heh heh. But I figured he probably wouldn't do it again, and what good would the hilarity be if I couldn't pass it along? I thought about my digital camera, but it was in the trunk and I'd have to get out and run back to get it, so I didn't.

I figured surely he wouldn't do it again, not a third time, surely not, but I pulled out my phone anyway just in case, and I was waiting with my camera phone aimed and my other hand on the horn... I watched "That Kid" hand over some cash, then dig for more and hand it over, then the lady at the window handed him several drinks and several styrofoam boxes, and the truck was still sittin' there. Sure enough, he popped out the window again, so I honked and took a picture -- it was like it didn't even occur to the little punks that somebody was watching. Seriously, he was still pickin' off letters even after I honked and "That Kid" put the truck in gear and started to pull away.

All I saw was a dirty look from "That Kid" in the mirror as he finally drove away...

When I got to the window, I told the folks who run the joint that I was sorry 'bout honkin' but I had a good reason -- and then I handed over my phone with the picture on the screen and told 'em that if they had any letters missing, that White Superduty was where they went.



The biggest laugh of all was the warm thank-you from the lady workin' at the window -- she said she was glad to have some "ammunition," 'cause that bunch of punks had been giving her trouble every time they were there, and she was sooooo ready to tell 'em to just get lost the next time they came around.

"If we couldn't laugh, we'd just all go insane."

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