Friday, February 23, 2007

About The Word...

Alternate Title: My Installment In The Vagina Monologues

Amazingly enough, not the same "The Word" that My Mom likes to pitch a fit about...

I'm not usually a big celebrity-watcher, I just have a hard time finding a damn to give. I do have this bad habit of using the sleep-timer on my TV at night though, and since the national news couldn't leave it alone, I did hear all about that one particular celebrity who got rid of all her hair the other night.

I also remember a nifty little SNL bit about "Deforestation" after the same celebrity bared her goin'-commando-in-a-short-dress hairless nether-region getting out of a car. I'd link to YouTube, but I searched several times and couldn't find the clip...

Earlier today, I read a blogger's post about the latest incident. She mentioned the earlier incident where this celebrity "exposed her vagina" and how this celebrity may have problems such as post-partum depression or some sort of chemical imbalance. I don't doubt it, I agree with the blogger who said that girl needs some professional help before the whole deal turns into a major tragedy.

I'm not here to rant about the celebrity though. What's on my mind is the part about "exposed her vagina..."

Did she really? Did she? I didn't see any of the film of her getting out of the car in her dress with no panties, but from what I know about human anatomy, it would be quite difficult to contort the body enough to expose one's vagina on the way out of a car. I've no doubt the whole world saw her ladyparts, her mound, her bikini zone, her beaver, her nether-region; but I doubt quite seriously that she exposed her vagina. Even if she had the most outrageous outie-cat-flaps in the world; she probably didn't expose her actual vagina as she was climbing out of the car.

I guess I'm a stickler for words; that's the "English Major" in me. I'm a stickler for human anatomy, just because PTA School will do that to a person. The "Vagina" part, well, that's 'cause I've got one of my own; and possibly partly due to the unusual number of 'em that I've been seeing in the browser history on the PC at work.

It takes a considerable leg-spreading effort to "expose the vagina," if a woman is standing in front of you naked with her feet flat on the floor, you won't just see her vagina. She'd have to strike a serious porno-pose for you to be able to see her actual vagina. That hairy (or hairless) spot that a bikini covers up is not the vagina; same as your navel is not your tits and your back is not your asscheeks. Nobody shaves their vagina, because the vagina is the actual hole, cavern, passage, or pooh-kah; and let's face it, you'd have to be a crazy bitch to stuff a razor up in there, even if you do happen to have a hair or two that grows from the inside toward the outside.

The main part of my rant is that too many people are using the word "vagina" as an all-inclusive term. You don't say "dick" when you're talkin' about a nutsack. You don't say "neck" when you're talkin' about your temples or your chin. You don't say "knees" when you're talkin' about ankles. If you're discussing a body part, you'd about as well be clear about it.

Exiting a car didn't expose her vagina, just like wearin' sandals doesn't expose my buttcrack.

Man-oh-man, I left out said celebrity's name to avoid the Google Phenomenon, but I used several other hot ones... I can just imagine the searches now; so I'd about as well toss in the rest of 'em -- Minge, Flange, Slot, Box, Axe Wound. There, Google-Away!!

More later... _\,,/

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