English Major

I love my NPR, I really do. I even listen in the shower.

This morning, with conditioner in my hair and toothpaste in my mouth, I heard something that made me wonder.

The piece was about Wind Farms and how they're building one in Delaware. Hmm... Interesting. There's usually plenty of wind blowing around, we'd about as well use it -- and generating electricity with wind doesn't produce any harmful smoky side-effects either. Sounds like a good deal...

Then I heard the voice on the radio say "building the first and largest off-shore wind farm..."

What the hell? If it's the First, then as of yet, it's the only one, isn't it? If it's the only one, then how is it the biggest one? If it's the only one there is, then there's not a smaller one to compare it to that would make it the biggest.

Wouldn't it also be the smallest? The greenest? The purple-est? The Loudest and the Quietest? The Tallest and the Shortest?

If it's the First, then there's only one!

Okay, I'm steppin' down off my soapbox now.

More later... _\,,/

About The Word...

Alternate Title: My Installment In The Vagina Monologues

Amazingly enough, not the same "The Word" that My Mom likes to pitch a fit about...

I'm not usually a big celebrity-watcher, I just have a hard time finding a damn to give. I do have this bad habit of using the sleep-timer on my TV at night though, and since the national news couldn't leave it alone, I did hear all about that one particular celebrity who got rid of all her hair the other night.

I also remember a nifty little SNL bit about "Deforestation" after the same celebrity bared her goin'-commando-in-a-short-dress hairless nether-region getting out of a car. I'd link to YouTube, but I searched several times and couldn't find the clip...

Earlier today, I read a blogger's post about the latest incident. She mentioned the earlier incident where this celebrity "exposed her vagina" and how this celebrity may have problems such as post-partum depression or some sort of chemical imbalance. I don't doubt it, I agree with the blogger who said that girl needs some professional help before the whole deal turns into a major tragedy.

I'm not here to rant about the celebrity though. What's on my mind is the part about "exposed her vagina..."

Did she really? Did she? I didn't see any of the film of her getting out of the car in her dress with no panties, but from what I know about human anatomy, it would be quite difficult to contort the body enough to expose one's vagina on the way out of a car. I've no doubt the whole world saw her ladyparts, her mound, her bikini zone, her beaver, her nether-region; but I doubt quite seriously that she exposed her vagina. Even if she had the most outrageous outie-cat-flaps in the world; she probably didn't expose her actual vagina as she was climbing out of the car.

I guess I'm a stickler for words; that's the "English Major" in me. I'm a stickler for human anatomy, just because PTA School will do that to a person. The "Vagina" part, well, that's 'cause I've got one of my own; and possibly partly due to the unusual number of 'em that I've been seeing in the browser history on the PC at work.

It takes a considerable leg-spreading effort to "expose the vagina," if a woman is standing in front of you naked with her feet flat on the floor, you won't just see her vagina. She'd have to strike a serious porno-pose for you to be able to see her actual vagina. That hairy (or hairless) spot that a bikini covers up is not the vagina; same as your navel is not your tits and your back is not your asscheeks. Nobody shaves their vagina, because the vagina is the actual hole, cavern, passage, or pooh-kah; and let's face it, you'd have to be a crazy bitch to stuff a razor up in there, even if you do happen to have a hair or two that grows from the inside toward the outside.

The main part of my rant is that too many people are using the word "vagina" as an all-inclusive term. You don't say "dick" when you're talkin' about a nutsack. You don't say "neck" when you're talkin' about your temples or your chin. You don't say "knees" when you're talkin' about ankles. If you're discussing a body part, you'd about as well be clear about it.

Exiting a car didn't expose her vagina, just like wearin' sandals doesn't expose my buttcrack.

Man-oh-man, I left out said celebrity's name to avoid the Google Phenomenon, but I used several other hot ones... I can just imagine the searches now; so I'd about as well toss in the rest of 'em -- Minge, Flange, Slot, Box, Axe Wound. There, Google-Away!!

More later... _\,,/