Saturday, March 17, 2007

I Love Meat. I Just Do.

Grazin' In The Grass?

I get a kick outta readin' blogs, I really do. People are fascinating; as Bloggers, and as Commenters.

Especially that guy who left a comment for me about my last post with a link to some damn Ford Bumper site. Hello? As if it's not totally obvious you were Googling for just the right place to leave your spammy comment with a link to your less-than-stellar site peddling who-knows-what-quality of parts...

Anyway, back to where I was headed.

So, every now and then, Heather posts some of the hateful mail just because it's usually hilarious. I'd link to her, but since most everybody already knows who she is, and I'm not getting paid, I don't really feel the need to. Amongst the usual punctuation-challenged and semi-literate pieces, she shared this one:


Holy Shit.

We're feeling the feelings of the dead animals?

I love bacon, but it's never made me crave corn. Fried Chicken made me thirsty as hell, but I thought that's 'cause it was salty; and it didn't make me want to scratch around or anything. Beef is some good eatin', and I like it in just about any form, but it's never made me want to eat grass and I've never felt the need to just indiscriminately shit right where I'm standing as I eat grass.

Oh, damn, now that I think about it, there was that Chinese Buffet... Man, that stuff was good, and I ate a bunch of it, and now I really wish I could lick my own genitals. Oh yeah, it wasn't the food; I'd already been thinkin' about that for years before I discovered the magic of Sweet & Sour.

So, what's the alternative? How can we get calm meat??

Oooohhhh, How'bout Natural Causes? Yeah, that's the ticket, let's just take our chances with somethin' that laid down and died somewhere, how'bout that?

I'll take my Ribeye professionally cut & packaged, thanks so much.

More later... _\,,/

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