Wednesday, November 14, 2007

An-gry-and-Dis-joint-o.

As Grandpa Simpson says, "Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch!"

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Okay, so I didn't get in on NaBloPoMo this year. Whups. Surely you'll forgive me for that... And surely, being forgiving, you'll also forgive me if a lot of this post is angry ranting...

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I can't believe I forgot to share this one, but the other night while Clay and I were lounging about (fully clothed) on my favorite king-size pillowtop, My Mom called with a HoMeSkOoLiNg [tm] question. It seems as though HoMeSkOoL mOm had left the kids home with their dad to do their "HoMeWoRk," believe it or not, and they were covering the topic of one syllable words, along with how to divide words between the syllables. Mom's phone call was apparently to settle the argument between the HoMeSkOoLeRz [tm] and their ol' man, who had tried to tell them a syllable is three letters. I'll leave y'all on your own to decide if that's funny or sad or both. I'd say it's a good bit of both, but that may be just because I had a big fluffy place to roll around laughing my ass off. We entertained one another for quite a while by coming up with as many one syllable words as we could, most of them words folks probably shouldn't say around kids, especially not HoMeSkOoL kIdZ. Heh heh.

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Also, today, I got to hear HoMeSkOoL mOm [tm] use the word "funnest" in a sentence, not once, but twice.

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I'm thinkin' we're going to Thanksgiving for the express purpose of getting a front-row seat for this year's Turkey Carcass Arts & Crafts Extravaganza. Words cannot express how happy it makes me to know that I have a driver's license and car keys so that I can just leave if somebody pisses me off.

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We finally have our computers back up and running, finally, and it's great to have 'em back on where we don't have to struggle with the book and the file cabinet then still can't look up anything after 1999. They're back on, and now they're all running through the same router and on the same network so now they all have internet, which worries me. The one we had to designate as the inventory server is the one that used to be the major p@%n-portal, which is, I'm sure, notably risky. Getting the whole thing set up was a bit of a hassle as well -- with tech guys on the phone managing to irritate our "computer mechanic" on day one, and me on day two. I kinda got the impression that what he was trying to say was "I don't know, I'm not sure, but I'm sure I know more than you, even though you're standing there with your hands on it." Oh well, I'm just glad it's over with...

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This morning, while the computer mechanic was here swappin' out a couple CD drives, we were chattin' about different things, and I answered a phone. The female voice on the other end asked for the boss, and when I told her he wasn't in, she said "Well, who else is there?" I kinda chuckled, and then feelin' like a smartass, I said "'scuse me?" just to see if she'd say it again and she did. "Well, right now, it's me and the guy who came here to work on the computer." As if all the other chicks who work at other yards haven't noticed, it really pisses me off to hear another woman do that whole wanting-to-talk-to-a-man thing. After a sigh that was somewhat like an audible eye-roll, she asked about a head for a Sable. When I asked what year, she asked what year and a male voice answered in the background. When I asked if it was OHV or DOHC, she had to ask him. When I said "hang on, I'm checkin'," she repeated that as well. I really wish I'd been "quick" enough to say "Hey, who else is there?"

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"Price and avaliability subject to change in relation to customer attitude."

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Yes, it was a bit of a long day, today I even got to answer such fun HoMeSkOoLeR [tm] questions as "What does E-T-C mean?" I hope I've made a memorable difference... I was wearin' thin by the time that guy got here to pick up that Sable head, and he got on my freakin' nerves too. I knew he'd stand a chance of tryin' to make me mad, just by the nature of the phone call, and since I was alone on the counter when he got here, I passed the card (to HoMeSkOoL dAd) so that I wouldn't have to be irritated by it all. While they were trying to find the head, my phone rang, and since I'd been waiting to hear from my mom, I didn't hesitate to answer and take it to the back office. I'd only been away about half a minute when he came back there and got me, he was trying to print an invoice (when we were hand-writing all of the invoices, I had to do all those for him too, okay, I'll shut up about that). Being oh-so-brilliant and all, he wasn't able to read the screen and make a logical decision (well, if I'm trying to print an invoice, I guess I should click this little cartoon printer that says "invoice" on it...), so I came back out front to make the two mouse-clicks. The guy writing the check said something to the effect of "well, if you can get any work outta her..." He looked me straight in the eyes a split-second later, and I wasn't hiding a thing.

After I'd hung up the phone I was on and was trying to explain the printer selection window, he said something about "you're just like me..." and something about computers. I still wasn't hiding my feelings when I said "No, I'm not. I am certainly not like you."

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While I'm ranting and bitching, if you pull out into traffic with a trailer load of brush and shit that's not tied down to a trailer that doesn't have lights on it, then drive halfway between the two lanes for a couple blocks, then finally pick the left lane, and then make a right turn from that left lane, you're a dick. You're a dick, and you have no place to be mad or do any yelling out the window at someone who honked at you because when they tried to come around your unlit trailer (to be sure they didn't hit anything that might fly off of it) they had to slam on the brakes to keep from hitting you as you made a right turn out of the left lane with no signal and no brake lights. You're the dick there, not the person who honked and avoided hitting you. Got it?

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Now, aren't you glad there's not a gun in my car?

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Maybe it's something in the air lately... Or maybe it's that vivid nightmare I had about armed robbery last night... I'll just quit for now.


More later. _\,,/

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