Monday, November 20, 2006

Holy Tits! Who Can I Offend Today?

Even though I am not anybody's Mom, I still get a kick out of reading what Moms have to say on the 'net. Apparently I missed Baba-Wawa's (SNL Reference right there, lol) quote that was part of quite a stir; I didn't know anything about it 'til I read Alice's piece on the topic over at Wonderland.

I know, I know, being a non-mom, it's not exactly my place to pitch my two-cents in on public breastfeeding -- But I am a member of the general public, and I do have breasts; so here's the deal: Aren't there other things to worry about besides who's feeding her baby where? Aren't there more important issues to be more concerned with than openly admitting to the fact that breasts are for the nourishment of babies and not just making more tips for Hooters waitresses??

Feckin' around with a commonly-available laser pointer can (deliberately or by accident) cause eye injuries or even blindness. Undercooked food can cause illness or death. Second-hand smoke can cause lung problems. Poorly maintained cars and distracted drivers cause crashes that injure or kill people. Now, is a baby slurpin' on a boob really going to hurt anyone???

Last night, a waiter with a poor grasp of English brought me the wrong enchiladas -- Apparently the words "chicken" and "cheese" were difficult to differentiate. It was a minor distraction; but not anything that might hurt me or make me sick; so I had cheese enchiladas instead of chicken enchiladas -- they were good anyway, so there was no reason to say anything because it was no big deal. Niether a Baby nor a Breast will hurt anyone or make anyone ill, so a nursing Mother is not really a reason to say anything either -- look at something else, you'll be fine.

As a general rule, Men like breasts. They just do. Millions of guys will buy overpriced food just because it's served by women with big tits wearing skimpy spandex clothes, they can go watch women dance naked on tables on on bars, they can even get their hair cut by women wearing next-to-nothing. Boobs are a big-money business. That's why businesses like Hooters, NightTrips, Cloud 9, Escapades, Bada-Bing's and Eye-Candy Cuts are making the money that they are. General nudity is a decent seller too -- ever watch TV late at night? Lots of guys are buying those "Girls Gone Wild" DVD's; they're such a big seller that there's a couple new ones comin' out every month! They'll pay good money to watch those methy-lookin' "Girls Gone Wild," they'll even pitch Mardi-Gras Beads at my less-than-perfect D's. Lots of guys don't even care whose boobs they are -- they just like to see 'em.

The general public sees breasts all the time -- under T-shirts or sweaters or dresses; sometimes under only skimpy bras in the Victoria's Secret TV Ads. The general public also sees babies all the time -- so what's the big problem with a breast and a baby together?

If it's okay for the TV Ads to openly show near-nudity just for the sake of sales, then it's okay for a Mom to politely feed a Baby. If it's okay for "OuterInfo" (Howdy, Google!) to show those porny chicks naked on all-fours through pop-up software that's secretively loaded onto computers, then it's okay for Moms to feed Babies.

There are other more bothersome things that need to be taken care of; If a thief is about to steal your laptop bag, and a Mom is about to feed a Baby, which would you want the Security Guard to stop first??

Peace, Love, and Good Nutrition -- More later... _\,,/

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