Tuesday, November 14, 2006

There's More?

"This message brought to you by the Church Of Jesus Christ, Motorist, Under Latter-Day Paint."

Yes, there's more HoMeSkOoL [tm] worry... I have a fascinating list of "What HoMeSkOoLeRzZ [tm] are searching for when they have free-range-Google-time, and I'd looooove to share it with y'all, 'cause there's some funny stuff in there. But I'm scared to put it here, 'cause it's exactly what they're Googling for, and they'd probably find me.

Last night, Mom was watchin' 'em, and when I got to the house, they were watchin' "Cars" for the second or third time of the day.

I saw it in the theater, and I thought it was great. I'm not usually big on "kid movies," but I really liked it, it was sweet & cute, and it made a few great points. The main part that really got me by the heart was that winning doesn't necessarily make you the best, and winning isn't the most important thing -- it's doing the right thing that's most important. I have a friend who took his four-year-old to see it, and he said the main thing he tried to explain to his kid about it was that "when he was mean, he was lonely, but when he was nicer, he had more friends." Good point, huh?

I worry that the HoMeSkOoLeRz [tm] won't get it. I worry that they won't understand the points that this movie tries to make, the important lessons it could teach a kid who thinks about things.

After sittin' through it amongst 'em last night, I'm even more concerned.

The first problem is the Parrot Factor. They're more parroty than actual parrots -- ya know how we're always tryin' to get Clay's Quaker to say "Hot Rod Bob?" We say it and say it and say it again, and the bird only repeats it once in a while. Those kids were repeating every other word that flew outta the TV. "She likes me fer muh bawdy..."

Even basic understanding got the best of 'em a couple times though -- like when the "Electrified" version of The National Anthem is playing, and the George Carlin character says "It's Hendryx, Man," the Parrot Factor kicked in and one of 'em giggled and said "It's Hundreds, Man!" Ugh.

It's not just Auditory understanding of words; I know, everybody's heard "Bathroom On The Right," and "'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy," but there's a problem with Cognitive understanding of phrases that scares me there too.

I don't remember exactly where we were at in the course of the movie; but a character said "It's all a bunch of lies," and the older one, the one who'll be thirteen in February, looks his ol' man straight in the eyes and says "It's a bunch of lies?? Does that mean that it's illegal???" I wanted to scream.

"It's a bunch of lies." How are we supposed to dumb that one down any lower? "It's a group of untruths" only makes it harder due to bigger words. I'm not even sure if I know how to figure out where the stupidity is coming from to meet 'em halfway on figuring the whole thing out! It's like Helen Keller walkin' through the woods tryin' to find Stevie Wonder, I tell ya...

They're the only little My-Last-Name kids there's ever gonna be, and it's got me re-thinkin' my whole Hyphenation idea. In highschool, people would ask me about MiddleBrother My-Last-Name because they remembered that guy who always had cool hotrods; and I'm okay with that. Lately, sometimes people ask me about OldestBrother My-Last-Name because he's pretty high-up in the Fire Department, and I'm okay with that. Every now and then, they'll ask me about a Sis-In-Law My-Last-Name -- which sometimes bothers me a bit, 'cause, well, I won't go into that here.

I just don't think I want anybody askin' if I'm DumbKid My-Last-Name's mom. Nuh-uh. That apple didn't fall outta My branch of this tree, no way.

Now, go get "Cars" and watch it with the kids! It's a great film!!!


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