Tuesday, December 04, 2007

What is it?

What is it that makes Crazy Aunt Debbie so crazy???

I'll tell ya.

HoMeSkOoL mOm was just here, dropped off the kids to go work the evening shift or teach the evening class or whatever. I pray that she's working because the thought of her teaching and passing her logic along to strangers scares me more and more every day, every semester, every year. God help us all, at least those kids get a little bit of exposure to common sense from my folks -- those Vo-Tech students are on their own with her; alone with that chick who managed to get a Bachelor's Degree in Nursing but has to go find a book to figure out where "the subcutaneous" is. Not that I'm passing judgement on anyone who doesn't know where "the subcutaneous" is; I know that most people who work in professions other than healthcare don't really need to know what that word means -- but someone who signs her name with "RN, BSN" on the end really should know that Subcutaneous means under the skin, I'd think it would seem like pretty basic knowledge, especially considering the fact that I know without lookin' it up, and I just work cheap sellin' car parts. I flunked out of PTA School, she got a BSN. Yeah, go figure that one out.

Anyway... Back to what irritates me, what gets under my skin, what pokes me subcutaneously... (heaa-haa, sorry, couldn't resist)

These kids are nine and thirteen. This Mom says that she "had to take their lighters away" because apparently they were "playing with them outside" where it's December, it's Dry, and it's Windy, and they "didn't tell an adult first."

She had to take their lighters away? What the fuck? Am I old now or something??

When we were young we got our TV taken away, or the Atari, or the Nintendo, or the Computer. When we were a little older, we might've had our car keys taken away. We'd say things like "I'm gonna go outside and ride my bike," or "I'm gonna go upstairs and play Mario Brothers." No parent in their right mind would stand for a kid of any age saying "I'm gonna go out in the back yard and light things on fire over there by the propane tank!" No-no-no, fuck no.

We never had our lighters taken away. We didn't have any fucking lighters when we were nine or thirteen because our moms would have beat our asses to bloody death when she found 'em, and she'd damn sure find 'em, 'cause Mom always found out about whatever...

What the hell are they doing with lighters in the first place? Why the hell didn't she "take their lighters away" before they had a chance to try to light anything with or without "adult supervision?"

Did we not just hear several news reports about how that huge fire in California was caused by a kid playin' around with matches or a lighter? Did nobody else notice that? Will Oklahoma be next??

Is there a junior division of The D@rwin Awards or something along those lines?

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