Tuesday, May 20, 2008

What If?

Yesterday, I griped, today, I'm gigglin'...

My parents divorced when I was in elementary school, around second grade or so. At the time, it stressed me out a bit, but I think we all turned out alright. They've ended up being the best of best friends, and it's a pretty cool deal. They spend time together, take care of each other, and don't fight near as much as they did before the divorce.

Part of the fun of workin' the family biz is that I don't have to "be nice" and deprive myself of the fine entertainment provided by Telemarketers. Every now and then, I manage to make them hang up on me. Heh.

Before lunch, I answered to a whirl of background noise and since there were several people talking, I didn't bother with an extra "hello" or anything. After a couple seconds, a loud female voice said "They're DOWN? Well how the FUCK are we supposed to get our COMMISSION?" And then she hung up.

I could hear a lot of similar background noise when I answered this afternoon, and the voice on the other end asked for "The Owner Of The Business."

I guess I could've done a better job of withholding... Wait. Howdy, spell-check. Withholding has two H's in it? Really?? Well, I guess I did learn something today.


I guess I could've done a better job of withholding information, but I said "He's not in right now, is there somethin' one of the rest of us could help ya with?"

"Is his wife available?"

"What makes you think he has a wife?"

"Oh, are you his wife?"

"Noooo, but what makes you think he has one?"


"Well what if he's Gay, he wouldn't have a wife then, would he?"

She didn't say another word, she just hung up.

He's about as far away from Gay as anyone could be, but if we ever turn up in some kind of listing for "Gay-Owned Businesses," I guess I'll know why. Heh. And next time they ask for him with his real name, I'll really have fun with 'em.

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